My Pregnancy with Jane
In order for me to paint a clear picture of the goodness that God is doing in my life, Im going to try to be as open and honest, as I can be. I found out I was pregnant on October 15, 2014. Both my husband and I were ecstatic. We've been planning and praying to expand our family. We already had 3 children (two girls and one boy) but we knew we wanted more kids. We've been praying for over a year to have another baby. So of course, once we got pregnant we were trilled. We waited a while before telling our family and friends. With our previous pregnancies we told people almost right away. But since I had a miss carriage that summer, I wanted to wait until I was further into my pregnancy.
In February 2015, I went in for my ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby. I was so excited to find out who we were expecting. We planned to have a gender reveal party that evening with our close friends. I took all my 3 kids with me to the appointment, while my husband had to work. The ultrasound took a while, I found out that we were expecting a baby girl. I was excited. The nurse said the doctor will be in a few minutes just to make sure everything was okay. I waited a while; 30 minutes if not more. Once the doctor came in, he did a quick ultrasound again and had me sit up and he told me the news. He told me that my baby had cancer. That it was a condition called Sacrococcygeal Teratoma. He didn't go into too much detail about it. He said that it was at stage 4 (worst case) and that my baby would need surgery once she is born. He also said I'd need to see a specialist for the remaining of my pregnancy. I don't remember much of what else he said, I couldn't focus on anything. I just sat their in disbelif and cried. It took me a few minutes to leave the room and get to the car. My kids kept asking why I was crying. I didn't know how to explain it to them. I didn't know what to say, other then "mommy is sad." When my husband called, I didn't know how to tell him. At that point I remember feeling guilty. I felt like I was in charge of this baby. She was in my body, and I was supposed to protect her. Was it something I did? I started to analyze everything I've done during this pregnancy. Was it the vitamins? I made sure I took them everyday. Was it the food? Maybe I could have eaten healthier? I knew it wasn't smoking, alcohol or anything like that. I've never done any of that stuff. I tired to sound normal on the phone but my husband sensed something. When he asked if everything was okay, I started crying again and told him. He came home an hour later. We talked about it. Did lots of research. I didn't know anything really about this condition. We prayed and prayed and prayed. Later I called my mom and told her. My husband went to his parents house and told them. We told our close friends over text and messenger. They were coming over for the gender reveal party and I knew I wasn't ready to talk about it, especially in person. We didn't want to cancel the party. It was supposed to be a celebration of our baby. And the fact that she had this condition wasn't going to stop us. At the party, we tried not to talk about it. Pretend everything was fine. I think it just hasn't fully sinked in at that point and there was still so much we didn't know. So we just didn't talk about the Babys condition. The girls and I did pray before the night was over and it meant so much to me having their support.
A week later I went to see the specialist in Seattle at UW Medical Center. I have been praying and hoping that the doctor in Tacoma had made a mistake and that my baby was just fine. The doctor did an ultra sound and sure enough, the baby still had the tumor. The tumor measured at 3.5 cm. The doctor told me that if the tumor gets bigger then 4cm then the baby will not survive. She kept pushing me to consider abortion. I told her that wasn't an option for me. She told me that I most likely won't carry to full term, and that that baby will most likely die. It was hard to hear. I was told I needed to have an ultra sound every 2 weeks to monitor the growth of the tumor. For the remaining of my pregnancy I tried different detox, vitamins, everything I could think of. I researched and researched of things that I can do to stop the tumor from growing. I changed my diet completely, but the tumor kept growing. We've been praying for weeks and weeks for God to heal our baby and hoping the tumor would stop growing. God didn't heal her the way we were asking him to, but I believe that this was His first miracle that He performed on our baby girl. The tumor was no longer at stage 4. It was now at stage 1. The tumor was mostly growing outside her body. Where stage 4 was mostly inside her body. This meant that surgery was now an option.
In March, I met with the surgeon that was supposed to do the surgery on my baby. The doctors explained the condition; a tumor found in newborns that develop before birth and grow from baby's tailbone. They went over the surgery and what they planned to do. They explained the risks. They said it was critical that I make it to 30 weeks. If I had the baby before 30 weeks, they wouldn't even try to operate on the baby. They said she'd have less then a 10% chance of surviving before 30 weeks. I was only 26 weeks at that point. We got home and prayed and prayed. We had family members come to our house and pray with us. We asked our friends and families all over the world to pray for our baby girl. Weeks went by SO slow. I couldn't wait to get to the 30 week mark. By Gods grace, I made it to 30 weeks. The doctors were all telling me I wouldn't make it this far. But I did, all thanks to God. The tumor now measured 11.6 cm and taking a lot of the blood supply from the baby. The doctors now had to pay close attention to her heart since it had to work extra hard to pump enough blood for her little body and the tumor.
On Friday, May 8, 2015 I woke up, cleaned the house, did laundry and went grocery shopping; my typical friday. By this time I started having painful contractions, they weren't often, but defiantly took my breath away. I called the nurse, she said, just drink a 16 oz bottle of water within 2 minutes and then drink another 16 oz of water within the next 40 minutes and that if the contractions didn't go away, to give her a call back. So I did, as she instructed me to. The contractions didn't go away. It was 4:45pm by this time and I called her back, she told me to come in to get hooked up to the monitor and just watch the baby. By the time they got me on the monitor, I was having contractions every 2-8 minutes. The nurse checked me and I was dilated at 3cm. The nurse called my doctor and at this point I remember everyone in the room just panicking. They told me that I am going to have this baby today (I was only 32 weeks) I started to cry. Everything was becoming so real and I wasn't ready to have this baby. I was terrified. I called my husband, he came right away. My father in law came to pick up the kids. The doctor told me that I couldn't deliver in Tacoma, that they'd have to transfer me via an ambulance to Seattle, where the specialist were. They gave me a shot to slow down my labor. Everything was happening so fast and so many people were in the room. The fire department came, ( I still don't get why they came?) They wheeled chaired me upstairs into a labor and deliver room. This condition is so rare, I had many different nurses and staff members coming in the room. They were trying to decide what to do with me. They wanted to get me to Seattle as fast as they could but it was friday evening and it was horrible traffic and it was a 65 mile drive. They didn't want to risk me going into labor in the ambulance being stuck in traffic. My contractions slowed down by then, so I waited in the room for an hour. The ambulance came and I was taken to Seattle. We did hit some traffic, but I felt totally fine. The paramedics were more nervous then I was. In Seattle, I was immediately checked into UW Medical Center. They connected me to the monitor, gave me another shot and checked if I had dilated any more; I didn't. They kept me on the monitor all night and told me the doctor will see me in the morning. The next morning the doctor came in. At this point my contractions had stopped completely. The doctor told me they couldn't deliver the baby yet. The baby needed to develop her lungs more and that she needed to gain more weight. I had to remain on bed rest at the hospital for the remaining of the pregnancy.
These have been the hardest months in my life so far at that point. It was hard to process all that my baby was going through. She hasn't been born yet and already had all these complications and struggles she'd have to face. I was sad. I cried everyday. I prayed. I struggled processing all my emotions. I tried to be strong and act like I was fine, but deep down I was completely broken. My heart ached for my baby girl. I turned to the Word of God for support and encouragement. I knew that only God would understand what I was going through and that only He could really help me deal with all my emotions and thoughts. Reading the scriptures; so many of them spoke to me, like they never have before. I looked at Job; he lost everything. His children, home, cattle and health. What did he do? He cried out in misery and never did he blame God. Later God blessed him with children, health and wealth. The lesson I took from Job was to not blame God or get mad at Him. To not question God, Why? But to accept it. Everything that I have on this earth, is from God and He blessed me with this child. I knew it was going to be a tough journey but I also knew that God never intended me to go through it alone. He would be there beside me all the way. I just needed to ask for his help. I am so thankful that God has been with me though this trail in my life. I may not know why this happened to my baby, and honestly its okay, because I know that God had His reasons and a plan for it. Maybe it was so I could grow in faith? Maybe it would be a testimony to someone? I may never know the reason for it, but God has been with me every step of the way. He changed her tumor from a stage 4 to a stage 1. He protected my daughter and helped me reach past 30 weeks. He blessed her heart, that she was able to pump enough blood for her own body and the tumor. He kept her safe from hydrops (A risk that the baby could have developed but she didn't) He blessed the transportation trip from one hospital to the other. There were so many things that could have gone wrong. I am so grateful to have a God who is so loving, strong, capable and willing to help me and my daughter get through this difficult stage in our life.
In February 2015, I went in for my ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby. I was so excited to find out who we were expecting. We planned to have a gender reveal party that evening with our close friends. I took all my 3 kids with me to the appointment, while my husband had to work. The ultrasound took a while, I found out that we were expecting a baby girl. I was excited. The nurse said the doctor will be in a few minutes just to make sure everything was okay. I waited a while; 30 minutes if not more. Once the doctor came in, he did a quick ultrasound again and had me sit up and he told me the news. He told me that my baby had cancer. That it was a condition called Sacrococcygeal Teratoma. He didn't go into too much detail about it. He said that it was at stage 4 (worst case) and that my baby would need surgery once she is born. He also said I'd need to see a specialist for the remaining of my pregnancy. I don't remember much of what else he said, I couldn't focus on anything. I just sat their in disbelif and cried. It took me a few minutes to leave the room and get to the car. My kids kept asking why I was crying. I didn't know how to explain it to them. I didn't know what to say, other then "mommy is sad." When my husband called, I didn't know how to tell him. At that point I remember feeling guilty. I felt like I was in charge of this baby. She was in my body, and I was supposed to protect her. Was it something I did? I started to analyze everything I've done during this pregnancy. Was it the vitamins? I made sure I took them everyday. Was it the food? Maybe I could have eaten healthier? I knew it wasn't smoking, alcohol or anything like that. I've never done any of that stuff. I tired to sound normal on the phone but my husband sensed something. When he asked if everything was okay, I started crying again and told him. He came home an hour later. We talked about it. Did lots of research. I didn't know anything really about this condition. We prayed and prayed and prayed. Later I called my mom and told her. My husband went to his parents house and told them. We told our close friends over text and messenger. They were coming over for the gender reveal party and I knew I wasn't ready to talk about it, especially in person. We didn't want to cancel the party. It was supposed to be a celebration of our baby. And the fact that she had this condition wasn't going to stop us. At the party, we tried not to talk about it. Pretend everything was fine. I think it just hasn't fully sinked in at that point and there was still so much we didn't know. So we just didn't talk about the Babys condition. The girls and I did pray before the night was over and it meant so much to me having their support.
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| Gender Reveal Party |
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| It's a Girl!!!!! |
A week later I went to see the specialist in Seattle at UW Medical Center. I have been praying and hoping that the doctor in Tacoma had made a mistake and that my baby was just fine. The doctor did an ultra sound and sure enough, the baby still had the tumor. The tumor measured at 3.5 cm. The doctor told me that if the tumor gets bigger then 4cm then the baby will not survive. She kept pushing me to consider abortion. I told her that wasn't an option for me. She told me that I most likely won't carry to full term, and that that baby will most likely die. It was hard to hear. I was told I needed to have an ultra sound every 2 weeks to monitor the growth of the tumor. For the remaining of my pregnancy I tried different detox, vitamins, everything I could think of. I researched and researched of things that I can do to stop the tumor from growing. I changed my diet completely, but the tumor kept growing. We've been praying for weeks and weeks for God to heal our baby and hoping the tumor would stop growing. God didn't heal her the way we were asking him to, but I believe that this was His first miracle that He performed on our baby girl. The tumor was no longer at stage 4. It was now at stage 1. The tumor was mostly growing outside her body. Where stage 4 was mostly inside her body. This meant that surgery was now an option.
In March, I met with the surgeon that was supposed to do the surgery on my baby. The doctors explained the condition; a tumor found in newborns that develop before birth and grow from baby's tailbone. They went over the surgery and what they planned to do. They explained the risks. They said it was critical that I make it to 30 weeks. If I had the baby before 30 weeks, they wouldn't even try to operate on the baby. They said she'd have less then a 10% chance of surviving before 30 weeks. I was only 26 weeks at that point. We got home and prayed and prayed. We had family members come to our house and pray with us. We asked our friends and families all over the world to pray for our baby girl. Weeks went by SO slow. I couldn't wait to get to the 30 week mark. By Gods grace, I made it to 30 weeks. The doctors were all telling me I wouldn't make it this far. But I did, all thanks to God. The tumor now measured 11.6 cm and taking a lot of the blood supply from the baby. The doctors now had to pay close attention to her heart since it had to work extra hard to pump enough blood for her little body and the tumor.
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| 32 weeks pregnant (taken the day before I went to the hospital) |
These have been the hardest months in my life so far at that point. It was hard to process all that my baby was going through. She hasn't been born yet and already had all these complications and struggles she'd have to face. I was sad. I cried everyday. I prayed. I struggled processing all my emotions. I tried to be strong and act like I was fine, but deep down I was completely broken. My heart ached for my baby girl. I turned to the Word of God for support and encouragement. I knew that only God would understand what I was going through and that only He could really help me deal with all my emotions and thoughts. Reading the scriptures; so many of them spoke to me, like they never have before. I looked at Job; he lost everything. His children, home, cattle and health. What did he do? He cried out in misery and never did he blame God. Later God blessed him with children, health and wealth. The lesson I took from Job was to not blame God or get mad at Him. To not question God, Why? But to accept it. Everything that I have on this earth, is from God and He blessed me with this child. I knew it was going to be a tough journey but I also knew that God never intended me to go through it alone. He would be there beside me all the way. I just needed to ask for his help. I am so thankful that God has been with me though this trail in my life. I may not know why this happened to my baby, and honestly its okay, because I know that God had His reasons and a plan for it. Maybe it was so I could grow in faith? Maybe it would be a testimony to someone? I may never know the reason for it, but God has been with me every step of the way. He changed her tumor from a stage 4 to a stage 1. He protected my daughter and helped me reach past 30 weeks. He blessed her heart, that she was able to pump enough blood for her own body and the tumor. He kept her safe from hydrops (A risk that the baby could have developed but she didn't) He blessed the transportation trip from one hospital to the other. There were so many things that could have gone wrong. I am so grateful to have a God who is so loving, strong, capable and willing to help me and my daughter get through this difficult stage in our life.
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