Delivering Jane

I spent two weeks on bed rest at UW Medical center. Let me tell you, it was hard. The first two days were kind of nice to relax and not have to worry about cooking, cleaning, etc. I had room service, I was able to catch up on some reading and journaling. However after those two days, I COULDN'T wait to get out. I missed my family, I missed going to church. I missed one of my best friends baby shower, one that I was excited to attend to. I even missed cleaning. I had friends and family visit me. They brought me food, books, drawing pads, flowers, etc.  It did help at times, but I was still torn. I missed my kids at home; my husband. I knew that for my Babys health, I had to stay in bed, but I felt so bad for not being there for my other kids. My husband was at work all day, so the kids were staying with grandparents, aunts, and uncles. It was hard on them. It happened so sudden. I wasn't able to prepare them for it. I never leave my kids anywhere for more then one night. I knew their schedules were off. I missed my daughters 5th birthday. Then there was also Sunday School. I felt horrible for missing the last two weeks of Sunday school. I spent most my days in the hospital connected to the monitor. The baby was really hard to read, so once they found a good place to put the monitor on, they didn't want me moving around much. I have gained 55 pounds in this pregnancy so I was always uncomfortable. The tumor was growing fast. My right foot started to swell. The baby's head was blocking off the blood circulation to my leg. My leg swelled up so much that I couldn't bend it or stand on it. I had to get shots for it. I had to ware special socks and have a compressing machine on to circulate the blood in my legs. The doctors wanted to keep me pregnant until I hit full term. They did an ultra sound every other day. One time it showed the baby was in stress, so we'd schedule the c section. Morning came around, they did another ultrasound and baby looked fine. So surgery was canceled. This happened a few times. It was so frustrating. I spent my days reading, crocheting, doing crafts with the other patients in the hall, watched a few movies and spent a lot time in prayer.  So much of the unknown was going to happen. I remember reading Philippians 4:6-7 it says, " Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience Gods peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Thats what I tired to do. I prayed about everything. Every worry, every thought and emotion I was having. I even prayed that the nurse could let me get out of bed and just walk around a little bit.  Finally one nurse did. She was a sweet elderly lady. She gave me a tour of the operating room. Took me through the whole procedure, what would happen, where the baby would go, etc. Then she let me walk around the hospital. As I walked around, a few people congratulated me on my pregnancy and asked if I was expecting twins or triplets. When I told them just one baby, they were shocked. I haven't realized how big my belly has gotten. Two days later, we had another ultrasound and the baby's heart was under stress and her kidneys had fluid in them. I was excited and nervous at the same time. Was the baby strong enough to survive the surgery? Maybe she needed a few more weeks to gain more weight and for her lungs to mature? But would waiting only bring more problems to her heart and kidney? It was such a tough call to make. The doctors agreed that it would be best if we had the c-section the next day. They went to coordinate everything with Seattle Children's Hospital because the baby would have to be transferred there for surgery right after birth. I was scheduled to have the surgery at 7:45am. My husband came and stayed the night with me.

My kids got to stay one night with me :)

Veronika and Tanya visiting me :)

   
The following morning, we woke up ready to go into surgery, only to find out that someone else had an emergency and they had to go before me. Then another patient had an emergency c section. I felt like I was never going to get this C section. Not to mention, I haven't eaten or drink anything since the night before. I think God was trying to teach me to be more patient. It seemed like forever just waiting. I was taken to the operating room at 3:00pm. I've never had a c section before, so I was a little nervous. There were about 20 people in the room. Different nurses, interns, doctors, Doctors from Seattle Children's Hospital. It was a teaching hospital and I guess everyone wanted in on this rare case. And by rare, I mean the state of Washington only seen 5 cases of this condition. My baby was the 6th. The doctors tried to take the baby out while she was still in her amniotic sac. As they picked her up, the water broke and it sounded like someone dropped a bucket of water on the floor. It was so loud. Thankful they didn't drop the baby. She cried immediately. Such a loud cry. I started to cry as well. I was feeling so many emotions; mostly I was grateful that she cried and took a breath. I wanted to see her so badly. But the doctors took her to the NICU right away. By this point, my anesthesia must have been wearing off, because I felt them stitching me up and it was painful. By the time they were done, the doctor from SCH brought the baby to me in an incubator. I wasn't able to hold her and that broke my heart. I wanted to have that bonding moment with my daughter. I understood why I couldn't; but it still sad about it. I only got a minute to look at her and talk to her. If she couldn't have that skin to skin contact, I wanted her to at least hear my voice. The doctor told me that she weighed 10 pounds. (the tumor was still attached to her) The tumor was the same size as our baby. They taped it up with plastic wrap to keep it moist. They didn't want the tumor to pop or start bleeding. My husband stayed with the baby as they transferred her to SCH and planned to have surgery the following morning. We named our daughter Jane. It means "gift from God" It fit her perfectly. She is our gift from God.

First time seeing Jane

I was transferred to a recovery room. It felt so weird, being all alone without my husband, without the baby. I had to pump every two hours for 20 minutes. It was so exhausting. Thankful I had a great nurse who helped and washed all my bottles and accessories and brought me everything that I needed. I was worried about not being able to nurse my daughter, I remember reading how it's so important for babies to latch on right away after they were born, but I didn't get that opportunity with my daughter. So I pumped and saved all my milk and had someone deliver it to Jane at SCH. The following morning, I was determined to get discharged. I wanted to get to SCH as soon as possible to be with Jane. She had already gone into surgery and I felt so helpless and far away ( I was one mile away) All I could do was pray and pray and pray. Before I was able to get discharged, I had to meet some demands (walking, eating, no bleeding, etc) It was painful for me to get out of bed, to bend or even cough, but I was determined. Later that afternoon I was discharged. Jane's surgery took a while, but it was successful. The doctor said he removed the whole tumor and a piece of her tailbone. He said that removing the tailbone wouldn't cause her any problems and no one will ever know. It was to guarantee that the whole tumor was removed, otherwise the cancer could come back again. The tumor itself was taken to pathology; where they did more research on it. During the surgery Jane lost a lot of blood and had to get a few blood transfusion. I remember the first time I saw her after the surgery. She was laying flat on her stomach, her whole lower back and buttocks was red and had a huge scar. I didn't expect the scar to be that big. It looked so painful. She had all these different wires and monitors connected to her. She was so adorable. She had so much hair. I couldn't wait to hold her.  

Im so gratefully to all my family for helping out with my kids at home. For everyone who came to visit me. To those who sent me flowers, words of encouragement and most of all those who prayed for Jane and I. So many people prayed for us. People I didn't know. I had people come up to me a few weeks later and tell me that their church, family and friends were praying for my daughter and I. We had people in Russia, Moldova, Germany, Ukraine, and all over America pray for us and our little girl.  It is such an overwhelming feeling of gratitude knowing that all those people were praying for us. God heard our prayers and it is because of those prayers, Jane and I are where we are today.