I'm a planner. I like knowing things ahead of time and I like to be prepared for everything. So when the doctors told me Jane had clubfeet, I was in a little denial. I thought, maybe her muscles are just tight after surgery. Usually clubfeet is diagnosed during pregnancy via ultrasound. I've had many ultrasounds with Jane; no one ever mentioned the possibility. I've never even heard that clubfeet is a thing. When I found out Jane had clubfeet, I didn't know much about it. My doctor told me she'd need casting for about 4 weeks, but didn't explain the full process. I didn't know she'd need surgery afterwards. So we did 4 weeks of casting. Thinking after those 4 weeks, her feet would be corrected and we'd be done with clubfeet. After the 4 weeks, they wanted to schedule surgery (cut the achilles tendon.) It wasn't a complicated surgery, but it was still surgery and I couldn't just agree with it right away. Remember I'm a planner, I need to process things and pray about it; especially something like a surgery. It was such a tough decision to make. The doctors were pressuring me to do the surgery and my family was telling me not to do the surgery. I was torn. I didn't know what the right decision was for my daughter. I ended up holding off on surgery and going to see other specialist. I wanted to confirm that surgery was the ONLY way to correct her feet. We saw a few different doctors and massage therapist. Some were able to help, but within a week, her feet would curve back. So we had to go back to Seattle Children's Hospital to correct Janes clubfeet. I felt like I just wanted so much time. Going to see other specialist and massage therapist took 4 months. Jane had to start casting all over again, because her feet had curved back. And this time instead of 4 cast, she need 6.
When we met up the doctor, I asked him to tell me EVERYTHING. I needed to know what the process was going to be like, what complications can come up. I just wanted him to be honest with me. He explained the process. It all made sense then. Everything was clear. I wasn't excited about it. It was defiantly going to take a few years but what bothered me the most was, he told me that my daughter would never walk. Based on her physical exam and a nerve conduction test, Jane had some nerve damage in both her legs and muscle imbalance. He still recommended the surgery and to go through the whole process so Jane's feet would " look normal and pleasing to the eye", those were his words. It had never crossed my mind that my daughter might not walk until that moment. It was hard to hear. No parent wants to hear something like that. All I could do was pray about it. While doctors and medicine are a gift of God and He certainly uses them to bring healing; His power is infinitely greater than any human wisdom or prescription. Ephesians 3:20 says He "Is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine..." So we prayed for a miracle, and were still praying for those little feet of hers.
We ended up doing the casting again. Jane was 6 months by then. She tolerated them well. After casting, she had her surgery. That went well, no complications. 3 weeks post surgery, she got her BNB (shoes and a bar) which she had to wear for 3 months 23 hours a day. The doctors told me the first two weeks are tough on the kids but then they adjust well to them. That wasn't the case for us. The whole way home (2 hour drive) Jane screamed in the car. When we finally got home, I took off her shoes to check her feet. They were purple. I massaged her feet to get the blood flow going, they were still purple. I iced them. Nothing was helping. It took a few hours. I had to put the shoes back on, she HAD to be wearing them 23 hour a day. Putting on her shoes was tough. She'd move and scream and I felt like I was torturing her. She was crying and I was crying. I joined Clubfoot Mommas on Facebook to seek advice. Im so thankful for for all those mommies that responded to all my messages. May God bless you and your little ones. It's amazing how a group of strangers can be their to support and pray for you during a difficult stage in your life. I've never been apart of any online group before, it was such a blessing for me to have those mommies give me advice and encourage me and just to tell me it does get easier. I followed the advice; I washed her shoes to soften them up, Crisscrossed the straps, used paddings, etc. I tired everything. Somethings helped a little but she was still crying a lot and HATED the shoes. She didn't sleep at night. My husband, my mom and I would take turns throughout the night walking around with her. It was tough. I called the doctor, came in for a visit, they said everything was fine. We just needed to give it more time. As tough as it was, God gave me the strength to get through it. I felt his prsesence. His timing for all of this was perfect. My mom was in town, she was a lot of help. My in laws, helped with picking up my oldest daughter from school. Finding the Clubfoot mommies group was Gods doing. He provided everything I needed to get through that difficult season in my life. A little over month passed and Jane was doing better with the shoes and bar. After 3 months, she switched to 12 hours of wearing the shoes and bar. She is still wearing them every night and will continue to do so until she is 4 years old.
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| Jane with her clubfeet cast |
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| Jane in her shoes and bar |
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| Jane with her BNB |
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