The Power of Prayer
When I found out about Janes condition, I didn't know how to process all the feelings. All I could do was cry. My kids stood there watching me, not understanding what was going on. I sat there in the ultrasound room and started to pray. I knew only God could truly understand what I was feeling and he'd be able to comfort me. I started going to a prayer group in my church once I was pregnant with Jane. God put me in that group at the perfect timing. I was able to build that friendship and trust with the girls. Then when I found out Jane had the tumor, I was able to confide in them and they became my support group. It's been a blessing in my life; being able to share and bear one another's burdens. If you don't have a prayer group. I'd strongly recommend it.
The prayer group wasn't the only ones praying for Jane. We had people pray from all over the world, praying for Jane and I. Some of them I knew, others I didn't. People would write, call or tell me in person that they were praying for us. Its such an overwhelming feeling knowing that people are taking their time to pray for you and your unborn child. I am SO GRATEFUL for each and every prayer that was said on our behalf. I can't find the words to say describe how grateful I am. I felt those prayers. My spirit was lifted. I felt hope, love, support and most importantly I knew God heard them. What a privilege we have. That we are able to pray. That we have a loving Father in Heaven, who is always ready to listen to us and help us. God is never asleep or too busy to listen. There is never a bad connection or a bad time. You never get a busy signal or voice mail or get put on hold. You get unlimited minutes to talk to him. It truly is a privilege. God loves us, and He is concerned about everything that concerns us. Furthermore, He has promised to hear our prayers. The Bible says, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14 God is pleased when we unite together in prayer.
I grew up going to church. Prayer was something that I was taught as a child. But, I never really studied prayer. As I look back to the past few years, I've noticed that my prayer have changed. After my 20 week ultrasound with Jane, I felt devastated and didn't know where or whom to turn to. I wasn't sure how to tell my husband or family or friends. All I knew was that I needed to pray. I wanted to pray. I didn't want to question God. Instead, I wanted to ask Him for help. I needed His help to accept the news. I was struggling with it. I hoped the doctor had made a mistake. I prayed for God to perform a miracle. We (myself included) love asking God for things. We pray and beg and follow up our requests. Then, if things don't work out, we are devastated. I went through that. For the first few weeks, I prayed for a miracle. I had faith that God could make that happen. But it didn't happen. Every two weeks at my ultrasound appointments, the tumor was still there and it was growing.
It took a while, but I noticed my prayers changing over time. God was working in me and changing me. My prayers were no longer, God please do this and this for me. Instead my prayers became, " God let your will be done." Billy Graham once said, "if prayer is first and fundamentally for the purpose of glorifying God, then our request must be according to Gods will and not according to our own. We have to work at making our will subject to the will of God, and when we do, we will begin to see results in prayer." For me that was hard. I knew God could heal Jane and do a miracle in her life, but WAS that His will? What if He has different plans for her life? I had to learn to trust God and have faith in Him. A few months after Jane was born, we found out that Jane was having more health issues. She needed to see new specialist and have more testing done. Possibly more surgeries. We had so much going on in our life, that when we heard these news; we were devastated. I went through a stage where I didn't want to do anything. I just felt sad. My heart was breaking for my little girl. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I didn't know how much more I could handle. It was then, I was able to just give it all to God. It's interesting how that works, God had to bring me to my lowest point to transform me and to change me. I never really thought about the things that I was asking God before. I used to ask Him for things I desired, but was it Gods Will for me to have those things? As I prayed and said, " God let your will be done with Jane...." tears fell down my face. Honestly, I was scared. I knew that meant, I could lose her. That she'd might not be able to do, things that other kids could. However, I was ready to accept whatever God had planned for her. I had to trust that, His plan for her life was better then mine. I needed to stop trying to control everything. Whether she has more surgeries or health issues, knowing that God loves her more then I ever could
and that He wants the best for her, made it easier for me to let Him take control. I don't know if that makes any sense. I guess, this was one of my lowest points in my life and I chose to surrender to God. I was ready to accept whatever He had planned. Now that doesn't mean every-time she got sick or was diagnosed with another health issue, that I was okay with it. No, bad news aren't easy to hear. But I've learned to pray before all my appointments, and before I got the results. For God to prepare me and help me accept whatever the outcome is going to be. I was honest with God and shared my feelings and hopes. I told Him my desires for Jane to be healthy, but only if that was His plan for her.
I don't know if you've every prayed before. But I encourage you to do so today. Whether you're going through a difficult stage in your life or not. You can ask God for help or simply give Him thanks. Ask God for His will in your life. He wants to reveal it to you. We often think about the decisions were facing but never get around to asking God what He wants us to do. Don't make that mistake, commit your life to Christ, and then ask Him to guide you. Before every big decision, surrender to God and pursue holiness. Trust the Lord and His promises to make your paths straight. Let the Psalmist prayer be yours everyday: " Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path." Psalm 27:11
The prayer group wasn't the only ones praying for Jane. We had people pray from all over the world, praying for Jane and I. Some of them I knew, others I didn't. People would write, call or tell me in person that they were praying for us. Its such an overwhelming feeling knowing that people are taking their time to pray for you and your unborn child. I am SO GRATEFUL for each and every prayer that was said on our behalf. I can't find the words to say describe how grateful I am. I felt those prayers. My spirit was lifted. I felt hope, love, support and most importantly I knew God heard them. What a privilege we have. That we are able to pray. That we have a loving Father in Heaven, who is always ready to listen to us and help us. God is never asleep or too busy to listen. There is never a bad connection or a bad time. You never get a busy signal or voice mail or get put on hold. You get unlimited minutes to talk to him. It truly is a privilege. God loves us, and He is concerned about everything that concerns us. Furthermore, He has promised to hear our prayers. The Bible says, "This is the confidence we have in approaching God; that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us." 1 John 5:14 God is pleased when we unite together in prayer.
I grew up going to church. Prayer was something that I was taught as a child. But, I never really studied prayer. As I look back to the past few years, I've noticed that my prayer have changed. After my 20 week ultrasound with Jane, I felt devastated and didn't know where or whom to turn to. I wasn't sure how to tell my husband or family or friends. All I knew was that I needed to pray. I wanted to pray. I didn't want to question God. Instead, I wanted to ask Him for help. I needed His help to accept the news. I was struggling with it. I hoped the doctor had made a mistake. I prayed for God to perform a miracle. We (myself included) love asking God for things. We pray and beg and follow up our requests. Then, if things don't work out, we are devastated. I went through that. For the first few weeks, I prayed for a miracle. I had faith that God could make that happen. But it didn't happen. Every two weeks at my ultrasound appointments, the tumor was still there and it was growing.
It took a while, but I noticed my prayers changing over time. God was working in me and changing me. My prayers were no longer, God please do this and this for me. Instead my prayers became, " God let your will be done." Billy Graham once said, "if prayer is first and fundamentally for the purpose of glorifying God, then our request must be according to Gods will and not according to our own. We have to work at making our will subject to the will of God, and when we do, we will begin to see results in prayer." For me that was hard. I knew God could heal Jane and do a miracle in her life, but WAS that His will? What if He has different plans for her life? I had to learn to trust God and have faith in Him. A few months after Jane was born, we found out that Jane was having more health issues. She needed to see new specialist and have more testing done. Possibly more surgeries. We had so much going on in our life, that when we heard these news; we were devastated. I went through a stage where I didn't want to do anything. I just felt sad. My heart was breaking for my little girl. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. I didn't know how much more I could handle. It was then, I was able to just give it all to God. It's interesting how that works, God had to bring me to my lowest point to transform me and to change me. I never really thought about the things that I was asking God before. I used to ask Him for things I desired, but was it Gods Will for me to have those things? As I prayed and said, " God let your will be done with Jane...." tears fell down my face. Honestly, I was scared. I knew that meant, I could lose her. That she'd might not be able to do, things that other kids could. However, I was ready to accept whatever God had planned for her. I had to trust that, His plan for her life was better then mine. I needed to stop trying to control everything. Whether she has more surgeries or health issues, knowing that God loves her more then I ever could
and that He wants the best for her, made it easier for me to let Him take control. I don't know if that makes any sense. I guess, this was one of my lowest points in my life and I chose to surrender to God. I was ready to accept whatever He had planned. Now that doesn't mean every-time she got sick or was diagnosed with another health issue, that I was okay with it. No, bad news aren't easy to hear. But I've learned to pray before all my appointments, and before I got the results. For God to prepare me and help me accept whatever the outcome is going to be. I was honest with God and shared my feelings and hopes. I told Him my desires for Jane to be healthy, but only if that was His plan for her.
My prayer group supporters
I don't know if you've every prayed before. But I encourage you to do so today. Whether you're going through a difficult stage in your life or not. You can ask God for help or simply give Him thanks. Ask God for His will in your life. He wants to reveal it to you. We often think about the decisions were facing but never get around to asking God what He wants us to do. Don't make that mistake, commit your life to Christ, and then ask Him to guide you. Before every big decision, surrender to God and pursue holiness. Trust the Lord and His promises to make your paths straight. Let the Psalmist prayer be yours everyday: " Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path." Psalm 27:11
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