Gorash Family

I still remember the day I was in the doctors office for a follow up appointment with Jane. Jane was 5 months at that time. I was trying to decide which path to take towards correcting her clubfeet.  At this point, I've tired all other options, and nothing was helping her feet stay straight. So I came to her clubfoot doctor to discuss the clubfoot process. As we were discussing Janes feet, the doctor told me "She will never walk"  but we should still go through the process so "her feet would be straight and look pleasing to the eye." His words exactly. It's was so tough to hear. Jane had a few different doctors examine her feet. She had a nerve conduction test performed on her legs. We've seen different massage therapist, chiropractors, did laser therapy, seen a neurologist. We've tired everything we could think of. The nerve conduction test results showed that Jane had nerve damage in both her legs. There was also muscle imbalance on both of her leg...

We found out Jane had hip dysplasia when she was about 3-4 months. We had suspicion earlier on because her right foot would always be up next to her right ear. If she wasn't swaddled, thats where her foot automatically would go. So she had an x ray done around 3-4 months and the doctors confirmed she had hip dysplasia but in her LEFT foot, her right foot was totally fine just flexible. Hip Dysplasia means, the foot isn't in the hip socket. It doesn't cause pain in children but it can cause a lot of pain later on in life if not fixed. We decided we wanted it fixed. Jane was still not walking at this point and because her leg wasn't in the socket, it caused a leg length difference. We knew that if we wanted her to walk, this was something we needed to do. It took us 3 months to see the hip specialist and talk about the procedure. By that time, Jane just got done with her clubfoot surgery, so the doctor wanted to put this surgery off until Jane was wearing the shoes and ba...

I'm a planner. I like knowing things ahead of time and I like to be prepared for everything. So when the doctors told me Jane had clubfeet, I was in a little denial.  I thought, maybe her muscles are just tight after surgery. Usually clubfeet is diagnosed during pregnancy via ultrasound. I've had many ultrasounds with Jane; no one ever mentioned the possibility. I've never even heard that clubfeet is a thing. When I found out Jane had clubfeet, I didn't know much about it. My doctor told me she'd need casting for about 4 weeks, but didn't explain the full process. I didn't know she'd need surgery afterwards. So we did 4 weeks of casting. Thinking after those 4 weeks, her feet would be corrected and we'd be done with clubfeet. After the 4 weeks, they wanted to schedule surgery (cut the achilles tendon.)  It wasn't a complicated surgery, but it was still surgery and I couldn't just agree with it  right away. Remember I'm a planner, I need t...

Jane spent the next few days laying on her stomach as her incisions were healing. She had a lot of swelling from the surgery. I had to wait 6 days to hold her. Even then it was with a pillow in between us. She was in so much pain, I had to be careful not to move her too much. I was fortunate enough to be able to stay with Jane the whole time. I couldn't sleep in the NICU, but they allowed me to visit as often as I wanted. Every morning the doctors had a meeting and talked about Jane case. How she was doing, if there was any changes needed to be made to her pain medication, nutrition, etc. Originally the doctors told me that 6 days after surgery she'd be able to come home. However that was not the case. We spent two weeks in the NICU. Jane was in respiratory failure and was on a ventilator.  Her heart had a few holes. She had hypoglycemia, hydronephrosis, leukopenia, hypernatremia. Jane was getting my milk through a feeding tube. She wasn't able to nurse. She then got jaundi...

I spent two weeks on bed rest at UW Medical center. Let me tell you, it was hard. The first two days were kind of nice to relax and not have to worry about cooking, cleaning, etc. I had room service, I was able to catch up on some reading and journaling. However after those two days, I COULDN'T wait to get out. I missed my family, I missed going to church. I missed one of my best friends baby shower, one that I was excited to attend to. I even missed cleaning. I had friends and family visit me. They brought me food, books, drawing pads, flowers, etc.  It did help at times, but I was still torn. I missed my kids at home; my husband. I knew that for my Babys health, I had to stay in bed, but I felt so bad for not being there for my other kids. My husband was at work all day, so the kids were staying with grandparents, aunts, and uncles. It was hard on them. It happened so sudden. I wasn't able to prepare them for it. I never leave my kids anywhere for more then one night. I knew...

In order for me to paint a clear picture of the goodness that God is doing in my life, Im going to try to be as open and honest, as I can be. I found out I was pregnant on October 15, 2014. Both my husband and I were ecstatic. We've been planning and praying to expand our family. We already had 3 children (two girls and one boy) but we knew we wanted more kids. We've been praying for over a year to have another baby. So of course, once we got pregnant we were trilled. We waited a while before telling our family and friends. With our previous pregnancies we told people almost right away. But since I had a miss carriage that summer, I wanted to wait until I was further into my pregnancy. In February 2015, I went in for my ultrasound to find out the gender of our baby. I was so excited to find out who we were expecting. We planned to have a gender reveal party that evening with our close friends. I took all my 3 kids with me to the appointment, while my husband had to work. The ...